What? No, Really, What?

12:36AM - Urbandictionary quiz meme thing

Go to urbandictionary.com and type in your answer to each question in the search box, then write the FIRST definition it gives you.

1. Your Name: Josh

A common name for handsome, intelligent men with big dicks, who are great in bed, commonly god like.
My boyfriend is such a Josh.
(I swear, I did not create that one...but it IS truthful. LOL)

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2. Your Age: 32

a person who has school smarts, but in real life is fucking dumbshit.

Liam: "dude i wanna tear my rotatar cuff so i can have tommy john surgery"
Matt: "32!"

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3. One of your Friends: Adam

The first man to get laid.
Wow, he gets as much ass as Adam

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4. What You Should Be Doing: Sleeping

To masturbate furiously in your room while praying that your grandma doesn't come in.
GET OUT GRANDMA! I was sleeping.
Those were sleeping noises grandma.

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5. Your Favorite Color: Green

1) marijuana
2) money
3) when somebody is hatin or bein wrong

1) i smoked me some good green
2) homies always askin fo some green
3) that bitch is bein green

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6. Your Birthplace: Winnipeg

the only place to have the following seasons.
almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction.
also called winterpeg.
pep1:god damn winnipeg is cold.
pep2:thats cause your in winterpeg.

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7. Last Person You Talked To: Primrose

a babycake who is one hot tamale!

oh look at her its a primrose

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8. Last Thing You Had To Drink: Dr. Pepper


A quite interesting carbonated soft-drink. It tastes great the first time you have it, or if you don't drink it too frequently, but its' flavor seems to fade and become un-noticeable if you drink it on a regular basis. It is better than Coke and Pepsi, and all the other popular soft-drinks, and often causes one to belch loudly, which is reason enough to drink it.

I remember the day Chris had a slice of pizza and a Dr. Pepper, and did the loudest belch I've ever heard in my life!

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9. Your Nickname: juggernaut

The manliest state of being. Basically being able to do any of the following: chop down trees with your penis, eat rocks for breakfast and shit out gunpowder, headbutt your front door open, causing it to splinter into pieces, jump off a cliff and break your fall with your face, wrestle sharks, kill a bear with your bare hands, etc.

Holy shit, it's a Juggernaut. Run like Hell!

(Um, okay.I don't think it was meant like that but I'll take it.)

12:31AM - Wrestling kills? No, bad parenting does.

I'm back, and I have something to say. I'm pissed. What could be the kick in the ass that brought me out of posting laziness? I'll tell you. A kid died. A little kid, killed by another little kid. "But Josh, as sad as that is, it unfortunately happens alot these days. What's so different?" Well, nothing's different. They're blaming wrestling...again.

The article that so angers me...


To summarize, that's an article about a 4 year old who killed his 2 year old brother, and the mother is blaming wrestling. First line that jumps out at me "Jacqueline Davis says she came out of the shower and found her two-year-old son Jacquion unresponsive on his bedroom floor." Why would you leave a 4 and 2 year old alone while you go shower in another room? That's a recipe for disaster, but let's move on.
"She says her four-year-old son told her and police that he was pretending to be WWE professional wrestler who he watches dominate opponents on the Friday night show.
The 4-year-old allegedly choked his brother with part of a curtain. "
I have been watching wrestling for 23 years, and I have never seen anybody choke another guy with a curtain.
If you watch the video on that page, at one point the Mother says "They shouldn't have that on TV. My boy, he's very influenced."
"The victim's mother says she's convinced exposure to professional wrestling played a part in the tragic murder." Well, maybe you shouldn't have let him be exposed to it. Or maybe, you should have sat with him and explained that it's okay for those guys to do it to each other, but this isn't something you should do at home. It all comes down to responsible parenting, which seems to be VERY lacking in this case.

I think it's pretty well known among..oh, everybody who knows me...I am a HUGE wrestling fan. I watch it every Monday night on TV, I go to a local restaurant to watch the monthly pay-per-view events, and I own a huge collection of DVD's I can watch when it's not being shown on TV. I have a son, and I can tell you, he WILL be exposed to wrestling as he grows. He can feel free to sit in my lap as I watch my show and DVD's and we will watch TOGETHER and I will explain the storylines, and also what is permissable and not to do among us. Can the guys on TV jump on top of each other? Yes. Can you jump on top of Mommy as she sleeps? As funny as that would be to see, no, you cannot.

I count some local wrestlers as my friends, and I try to get out to see their shows as often as I can. When Jericho is old enough, he can be welcome to join me at the family friendly shows, and I will be sure to explain to him the difference between "Uncle Adam" in our living room playing Guitar Hero with Daddy, and the character of the "evil cowboy" we see in the ring. It all comes down to taking the time to talk to your kids, which so many people don't do. They use TV as a babysitter, and then are shocked at what "the babysitter" taught their kids. Why don't you ever see an article about "I put my kid in front of a Sopranos episode, and left the room for an hour. When I came back, he had cracked his little brother in the head with a baseball bat for being a fucking rat. They shouldn't show that kind of thing on TV!" Why? Because that would be stupid. Everybody knows that you don't show Sopranos to a little kid, but wrestling is the easy target, and gets the blame again. Is wrestling violent? Yes, yes it is, surprisingly. There are storylines and skits, explaining why they are doing what they do, but in the end it's 2 hours of guys beating each other up. Once people realize that, we may not see any more of these articles but I'm not holding my breath. Why look in a mirror when it's so easy to point a finger elsewhere.

11:22PM - I'm on Strike

I just wanted to throw up a post today to show my solidarity for all the strikers. Yup, I stand behind you all and will not post anything today. There shall be no posts made from this account at all, we'll show those big old meanies who's the boss! I'm sure they will look down from their ivory towers, counting their pennies, and say "Gasp! No! Not Josh! How will LJ survive without his monthly post saying nothing?" Bummer.

In other news, things are good in some ways, not so good in others. Baby is good, he's 3 months old now and getting cooler every day. I'm off to see all the other non-posts today, should be a quick perusal of my friends list, then off to download online porn and wrestling DVD's. Happy Good Friday!

11:50PM - Crying a river over your stupid email

There's something I want to write about, all about some shit going on at work and how it's really annoying, but I know it'll be really long and I just can't write it all out now, but I really want to. So, this is my reminder to myself, sort a placeholder entry, that I WILL write about work and the asshole customer and the whole email thing where I apparantly ruined this guy's life or something, based on the way he reacted. Ass.

11:44AM - Who's got a Wii?

I know some of you on my list have a Wii, so what are your codes? I got one(actually 2, I accidentally went a bit e-bay crazy...Oops), and my code is 5972 3422 2515 7799. Add me!

(I know I haven't posted any updates here in awhile, I promise I'll try to remedy that very soon.)

3:38PM - I have a baby! Prim helped!

He's here! Yes, the baby has arrived and it's a boy ("and WHAT a boy! That's the umbilical cord, Homer. Oh.") We named him Jericho (I know what you're immediately thinking. Yes, like the wrestler. No, that's not why we picked the name). He was born yesterday, December 6th at 6:13pm. He was 6 pounds, 4 oz, 19 inches long, and scored real well on all the scores they test new babies on. He has my ears and eyes, Prim's nose and from being a day old, we're not sure what his skin is going to end up being, but right now to my eyes, it's slightly darker than I guess a "white" baby. It was a long labour to start, and then suddenly things started happening and it all went quickly after that. They want to keep him and Prim in the hospital for 72 hours observation, then he gets to come home. I don't know how to resize pictures, so this might be huge, but here he is at 18 hours old. This is the 6th generation of my family males to be the 1st son of a 1st son and onward. ( My son. That's so cool to say )

Current mood: ecstatic

4:41PM - I'm a published writer now!

After this summer's play went well, and we were featured in the paper as an "upcoming writing duo to watch", I got an email a few weeks ago asking if I wanted to review the autobiography of Chris Jericho, a wrestler, for the local paper. After a minute of teen girl-like squealing, I said yes. It was published today and I'm pretty happy with it. I knew there wouild be some editing done, but it wasn't too badly chopped up, so I'm happy. There's a bit in the middle where he took a few thoughts I had and threw them all into one paragraph that looks awkward to me, and he split a few paragraphs into individual sentences, but of course I'm my own hardest critic.

12:13PM - Switzerland? No, you're Austria

I've been holding off on writing about the "situation" I've got going on right now, but it looks like it's FINALLY over with, with a bit of emotional bloodshed, but things should be okay now. Now, I want to talk about is a side part of the issue, but I'm still going to be vague. I was having an issue with a friend, and it got fucked up. We both did things that maybe we shouln't which caused the situation to get worse. If either of us had handled things differently, it wouldn't have gotten as far as it did. My method of handling it was to ignore it, which caused her to get more upset and send me more emails, which I ignored, which caused her to get more.....you see where I'm going with this. She then felt the need, since I wasn't providing any answers or explanations, to go to my friends and bombard them with emails and details of this situation. Then my friends are coming to me and saying "why is she involving me? I don't want to be in the middle of this." Why tell me? I'm not doing anything, I'm keeping my private shit private. She's the one bringing you into it, write her back and tell her to stop contacting you. What upsets me is one of these so-called friends who are playing the martyr. Whenever I talk to them, "Oh, I'm neutral. I'm switzerland! I don't want to get in the middle!"
There is no middle! You have to have two sides of something to be in the middle of, and this is all one sided from there. I'm not playing this stupid game, so don't tell me how poor you is getting dragged in. I don't mention her, and you should just tell her to stop when she mentions me. I know for a fact you don't. You let her talk me down. You're no friend to me either, I'm realizing. Whatever. It's hopefully all over, I go my way, she goes hers and hopefully we never meet. It's a shame, but it's necessary now.
I've been thinking alot about friendship these days, but that's an entry for another time.

10:58PM - I'm back...but for who knows how long?

Betcha thought I fell off the earth, huh? Well, I'm back, and I figured I'd finally post something, even though I don't have a lot to say. I've been avoiding posting in my LJ just because I either didn't have anything to say, or when I did have something I didn't want to say it, if that makes sense. I'm trying to change myself in better ways, and there are some people who are making it kind of hard. But, fuck her, and that is all the time and emotion I will waste on that person. Everything has been good, and yet things are not good at all, if you know what I mean. The play, which I put SO much of myself into, was both a triumph and a crashing disappointment. This was my dream, and now I want to hold on to it, but also just forget about it. I know I'm being obscure, but I don't have the time or emotional energy to get into everything that's happened over the last 2 motnhs.

I've really been gone for a while and I see my last 2 posts were about the house problems and the pregnancy. Well, we were able to find a new and better house, we've been all moved in for around a month and things are great with it. The pregnancy is also going well, we saw the baby on an ultrasound the other day, and my wife is feeling the kicking inside now, but I can't feel anything from the outside yet. Maybe soon. Other than that, I'm keeping busy working hard, the two main things on the horizon are the baby in late December and then going to New Jersey next May for my sister's wedding, I'm really looking forward to that trip. Everything else is up and down. So, I'm still around. Don't know when I'll post again though.

Current mood: contemplative

1:20AM - Finally good news to share!!

It's been killing me to keep a secret, but 12 weeks has passed, we're into the second trimester and I have got some news to share with the world!! I am so happy and excited. More news to come this weekend regarding the house hunt, but for now I wanted to shout it out loud! Can you believe it? I...ME...Josh...am going to be a parent. Scary.

1:13AM - Sigh...and we start again

I've been sort of avoiding my LJ because all I had was depressing whiny stuff to post about, but I finally return from my exile with the whole story. Some people have already heard this, but I want to get it out there. I'll be back this weekend with a good news post, about the happy stuff going on in my life. The play is coming along well, and I've got some other stuff to talk about too.

( This is a note my wife wrote about the situation we've been going through with our house search )

5:51PM - FUCK! Fuck, fuck, fuck!

So, long story and I don't have all the details, but our new house? Perfect, fits all our needs, we both love it? Supposed to get the keys in 2 days, take possession and start doing some slight upgrades before we move in at the end of the month? We went to the lawyers office today to sign the final paperwork and she tells us that she just heard from their lawyer, the house has had some severe flooding and it's going to take at least a month to fix so we have to put off the possession date and we can't have the house on Thursday. Don't know where or how it flooded, but I'm pretty fucking upset right now. I'm very wary about the repairs, because I can't see him putting full effort in if it's like "fuck it, it's not my house in 2 weeks. Let them worry about it." I have visions of everything falling apart a year from now. Fuck!

12:35PM - When did Infidelity become "cool"?

Why is it that more and more movies are about cheating on your spouse, and not in a bad way? Jennifer Aniston had a run of cheating movies, including one where she and Clive Owen cheat on their spouses, then are seen and blackmailed by a mysterious stranger, and they must fight back against the evil blackmailer! Poor them, they are just victims!
Me personally, I have come up with the perfect method of never getting caught cheating on my wife. It's simple, and I'm going to share it with all my LJ readers, in case you are ever in a situation where you need to avoid getting caught. Ahem, here goes.....I don't fuck people who aren't my wife! I know, it sounds insane, but I have found that she will NEVER catch me cheating if I keep from sticking my penis into anybody else. Really, try it. I personally 100% guarantee that you will never be caught cheating by your spouse or significant other if you never actually do it.
"What brought on this crazy rant, Josh?" I hear you asking.
There's a new Chris Rock movie out this weekend, called "I think I Love my Wife". From what I can tell, his old girlfriend comes back into his life and he is tempted, blah ,blah, blah, I'm assuming happy ending he chooses the wife. Here's the description. Plot: Nikki is the exciting free spirit who makes Richard's daydreams come true while Richard's wife Brenda is so preoccupied with her own career and raising their two children that she has little time for her husband. That selfish bitch, of COURSE he needs to step out for a piece of ass on the side. From that description, how has he not buried her in the back yard by now? Listen to how evil she is. Her OWN career? Raising THEIR kids? I just hate that he's the sympathetic character here. Well, I didn't see "The Good Girl", I didn't see "Derailed", and I won't be seeing this. My own personal protest against Hollywood's glamourization of fucking around.

P.S. I know, cheating is much more than just the physical act of sex. There's a big emotional and mental side of it too, and betrayal of that hurts more than the physical one. I'm more focused on the generalities right now.

12:45AM - Finally............

I believe a great philosopher said it best, when after meditating alone in a cave for a dozen years, he stepped out into the light and as all his followers gathered around, he took a deep breath and said...( ......... )

Current mood: excited

1:10AM - I love stuff like this.

Create your own visitor map!

1:41AM - We didn't get the house. :(

I may be building it up in my mind too much, but it was perfect. Had everything we needed, not a lot of work to be done to get it in shape....and we didn't get it. I'm pretty bummed. We got outbid and we don't even know by how much. This sucks.

11:44PM - More random stuff

So my sister demanded an update, and I told her if she commented more I'd write more since I like knowign people are reading. So, here's an update. Comment away, El.

I have alot on my mind this last while, but it's all mostly insecure emo shit so I never felt like posting. The Fringe festival planning is coming along, I've moved way up the waiting list since my last post so I'm #57 now, 1-55 are in the festival. 2 more spots to move but they're the toughest to go. Hopefully some good news on that front soon. I want to start working on the show even without knowing for sure, but that's not going so well for a number of reasons. I'm also working on another show right now that's a post in itself, it's driving me crazy in a few different ways. Luckily that's over with in 2 weeks.

We're buying a house, I hope. We've been pre-approved for a mortgage and hired an agent, and have been looking for the past month. We found one we really like this weekend, and we'll be making an offer on Tuesday so hopefully I have good news to post on Wednesday. Wish me luck and send good thoughts my way with everything, I feel like I need it.

P.S. The house has a guest room, so you all can come stay with me if you ever come to Winnipeg!

P.P.S. Don't bother coming to Winnipeg, there's nothing to do here except for our kick-ass theatre festival in July.

2:23AM - I'm sad

So, my hamster died today. We've only had him for a month and 2 days, but I'm still really bummed about it. I feel like it's my fault somehow, but I don't know what I did wrong, or what I could have done differently. His cage was in my study, so he was always excited when I was on the computer, he'd run on his wheel or climb up the cage and hang upside down from the top. He was running last night when I was in here, and then I went to bed. He was asleep in his little cave thing this morning when I left for work, then when I came home at 9pm, I peeked in and it looked like he was in the cave thing, so I went in the living room. I came by around 10:30 and looked in and saw a tuft of fur on the bottom of the cage, and then I realized it was him lying stretched out. I tapped on the cage and he didn't move, and I realized he was dead. It happened sometime today, but my wife was home and says she heard him running this afternonn around 4 or 5. I'm sad about this. Our last hamster died a few years ago, and now I buy a new one and he dies too. I feel like I did something wrong, and I'm upset. This sucks.

Current mood: melancholy

5:10PM - Happy birthday

I want to send a quick shout out and happy birthday to a member of my friends list, the man of a 1000 names, Andrew "limin8tor" "Kendergardener" Bueno Master". He sent me a Big Tex cup and Jesus nightlight for Hannukah, so you know he's good people.

5:07PM - I'm Dirrrty!

Your Mind is NC-17 Rated

You're mind is so filthy... you should should be washing every part of you out with soap. If your thoughts can go dirty, they do. Almost everything is NC-17 to you!